Here are my top ten dirtiest and controversial jokes and memes, this jokes are funny and will sure make you laugh, please share more jokes with us in the comment section… Enjoy.
The funny miracle
I was having my bath when my brother in the lord brother Titus who has been blind from birth came to visit, I was the church lead choir mistress and Mr Titus had spoken to me about joining the choir.
“Oh my God I had already told him we could not accept him unto the church choir. and this was because the church could not afford a braille song book” and he knew this too and this left me confused as to why he was at my house visiting..
After bathing, I bath came out naked, spread her legs “poor dude, pity he cant see a thing” i chuckled and started shaving in front of him. after a long awkward silence I tried to make a conversation by asking him, “Brother Titus, what brings you here? Is everything OK at home?”
He replied, “Yes, very fine. I came to tell you that I have done the eye surgery and I can see very clearly now.”
A Puss cat takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it’ll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the puss goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The cat isn’t the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, “Looks like you blew a seal.” “No,” the puss insists, “it’s just ice cream.”
Mr and Mrs smith, decides to spice up their sex lives by having sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes, the Mr Smith gets up and says, “Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!” Mrs Smith replies, “Me too, you’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!”
Did you hear about the dude that was talking to his buddy, when he said, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. So, I’m stumped.” His friend says, “I have an idea. Why don’t you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She’ll probably be thrilled!” So the first fell a did just that. The next day his buddy asked, “Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?” “She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, ‘I’ll see you in two hours’.”
The Obama’s experience
When my dad and former president of America, Barack Obama was elected as the first black president of America and I Sasha was only 7 years old, when my dad gave his acceptance speech where he said, even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us. There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after the children fall asleep and wonder how they’ll make the mortgage or pay their doctors’ bills or save enough for their child’s college education.
what most people don’t know was that same night, I found my dad alone at the balcony, screaming on top of his longs, “Good luck Mr Moore”, over the years I kept pestering my dad, for the meaning of the eccentric statement “good-luck Mr Moore” [sic],annoyingly my pa and our former president barrack Obama is head strong and never bulged, days passed and we eventually left the white house, and I kept asking, I’m head strong too and an apple never falls from its tree, and daddy promised to tell once I clocked 18. last year on the 10th of June 2019 I Sasha Obama, clocked 18 years, and my dad answered my question,
When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a ﬂy ball, which landed just below a racist neighbor’s bedroom windows. The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Bradley . As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Bradley shouting at Mr. Bradley, ‘‘Oral sex ! You want oral sex ? You’ll get oral sex when the black kid next becomes the president ! ’’
The celebrity dental-cologist
Celebrity dentist dr. Bill Dorfman was in his office one evening when an An old woman walked into his office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. dr Bill Dorfman, stunned and confused told her she was in the wrong room and was about to call in a nurse to help the woman out when she said “You put in my husband’s teeth last week,” she paused pointed down and said “Now you have to remove them from here”
African men are blessed
There was a African man with a 15 inch penis. He absolutely hated it, because it was too big for any woman to handle. Every time he tried to have sex, he ended up accidentally hurting his partner.
One day he went to the witch doctor in town and asked him to help him make it smaller. “I cannot do that,” said the witch doctor, “But I do know a solution. In the forest by the pond, there is a magical toad that glows golden at night. If you can get the toad to say ‘No’ to you, your penis will shrink three inches.”
The man followed the witch doctor’s advice, and went into the forest. Sure enough, by the lake-side there was a large golden toad. The man thought for a moment, then walked up to the toad saying, “Hey magic toad, would you like to have sex with me?”
The toad replied with a disgusted face, “What? No!”
As promised, the man’s penis shrunk to 12 inches! But it was still too big for him to be comfortable with, so he asked again, “golden toad, please do have sex with me?”
The toad once again made a face and croaked, “Ew, no!” and the man’s penis shrunk to 9 inches. Still, he thought that might be too big.
“6 inches should be fine,” he decided, and asked the toad once more and saying, “hey magical golden toad, I need you to have sex with me right now!” to which the magic toad replied,
“How many times do I have to tell you?! No! No! A thousand times no!”
Never be too old to have sex
Two senior citizens were both a year short from retirement from the assembly line, one Monday morning that didn’t keep Bob from
boasting to Charlie about his sexual endurance. “Three rounds,” gasped Charlie admiringly. “How’d you do it?” “It was easy.” Bob said trying to be modest. “I made love to my wife, and then I rolled over and took a ten-minute nap. When I woke up again, I has sex with her again and took another ten-minute nap. And then I put it to her again. Can you believe it! I woke up this morning feeling like a bull, I’ll tell you.” “I gotta try it,” said Manny. “Lorraine won’t believe it’s happening.” So that night he made love to his wife, took a ten-minute nap, made love to her again, took another nap, woke up and made love to her a third time, then rolled over and fell sound asleep. He woke up feeling like a million bucks, pulled on his clothes, and ran to the factory, where he found his boss waiting outside for him. “What’s up, Boss?” he asked. “I’ve been working for you for twenty years and never been late once. You aren’t going to hold these twenty minutes against me now, are you?” “What twenty minutes?” growled the boss. “Where were you on Tuesday and Wednesday?”
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.” She replies, “if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room no 69.
Neighbor 1: “Hi, there, new neighbor, it sure is a nice day to be moving.”
New Neighbor: “Yes, it is and people around here seem extremely friendly.”
Neighbor 1: “So what is it you do for a living?”
New Neighbor: “I am a professor at Harvard University, I teach Psychology and deductive reasoning.”
Neighbor 1: “Deductive reasoning, what is that?”
New Neighbor: “Let me give you and example. I see you have a dog house out back. By that I deduce that you have a dog.”
Neighbor 1: “That is right.”
New Neighbor: “The fact that you have a dog, leads me to deduce that you have a family.”
Neighbor 1: “Right again.”
New Neighbor: “Since you have a family I deduce that you have a wife.”
Neighbor 1: “Correct.”
New Neighbor: “And since you have a wife, I can deduce that you are heterosexual.”
Neighbor 1: “Yup.”
New Neighbor: “That is deductive reasoning.”
Neighbor 1: “Cool.”
Later that same day…
Neighbor 1: “Hey, I was talking to that new guy who moved in next door.”
Neighbor 2: “Is he a nice guy?”
Neighbor 1: “Yes, and he has an interesting job.”
Neighbor 2: “Oh, yeah what does he do?”
Neighbor 1: “He is a professor of deductive reasoning at the University.”
Neighbor 2: “Deductive reasoning, what is that?”
Neighbor 1: “Let me give you an example. Do you have a dog house?”
Neighbor 2: “No.”
Neighbor 1: “Fag.”